My son passed a big milestone this week. We completed the Treasure Island game inside the Treasure on Notch Hill gamepak for the first time. In the game, children have to read short sentences to win the opportunity to turn over cards on the gameboard to ‘hunt’ for treasure.
As he turned the last card over on the gameboard I wanted to shout and scream and holler- WAHOO!!! He’s done it! He’s learned to read his first 22 words!! He’s well on his way to becoming a reader!! I opened my mouth about to say the words “I’m so proud of you” Then I stopped and closed it again.
You see, I don’t want him to learn to read in order to please me. I don’t want him to feel that he needs to achieve things in life just to earn my praise and support. I want him to acknowledge that feeling of satisfaction that you get from sticking with something that is tricky and overcoming adversity. I want his incentive to come from within, and his reward to be his internal joy of achievement.
There’s two types of incentives in this world. Intrinsic and extrinsic. An extrinsic incentive is the traditional ‘carrot and stick’ approach. “If you do that, I will give you this.” Our whole society is based on a layered system of extrinsic incentives from the car dealerships who incent you to take on debt with the lure of an interest free period. To employers who dole out performance related bonuses, to teachers who dole out performance related stickers.
The problem is, that as soon as you take an extrinsic incentive, you stop doing something for yourself. The internal motivation you had to do what ever it was you were doing gets up and walks away replaced by the prospect of the reward you’ve been promised.
Over the years there’s been a load of research on the effects of Intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. The eminent Psychologist Alfie Kohn says:
“Does praise motivate kids? Sure. It motivates kids to get praise. Alas, that’s often at the expense of commitment to whatever they were doing that prompted the praise.”
From <http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/gj.htm>
There is an old story about a grumpy old man who hated the fact that after school children from the local school would play loudly in the park in front of his house. One day he spoke to the children and told them how much he loved their noise and that he would pay them $1 per day for playing there and making as much noise as they could. The kids thought this a great idea and came back the next day. The next day the old man apologised because he hadn’t been to the bank. All he could give was 75c. The next day he apologised again and paid them 25c the day after it was 10c until one day he said he had no money to pay them. The children were angry and told the old man that if he couldn’t pay them then they would never play there again.
That is how quickly and simply an extrinsic motivatior can crush the joy and pleasure of an experience.
Obviously, that example is a much more vivid example than my saying “I’m so proud of you” to my son. But the mechanics are the same. With extrinsic motivation you can extinguish the joy of learning, shorten concentration, slow learning and create a system where you need to praise more and more in order to motivate.
So what did I say?
Very little. Maria Montessori said that a smile goes a long way. I have found this to be true. I also asked him how he felt about his achievement. “Really, really good Mum.” – and with those words, I think both of us were fulfilled.
For more on extrinsic and intrinsic motivation check out Alfie Kohn’s website http://www.alfiekohn.org/ or look into Maria Montessori’s methodology.