One of the concerns that I field often from parents is “My child is struggling / not doing ___ (fill in the blank). Is this a sign of Dyslexia?”
Last week I wrote about ‘b’ & ‘d’ confusion, which is common in all children and also commonly causes parents to worry about a learning difficulty. The other common parent concern is when young (3-6yr olds) write their names backwards.
If you find yourself in this position, please rest assured. These are normal stages for children to grow through and typically do not indicate Dyslexia.
Here’s the thing.
A lot of research into learning disabilities has been done in the last 40 years. We know more about symptoms, triggers, and learning strategies than ever before. There have been many studies showing the huge benefits to early intervention so as parents we are more alert than ever before to try to catch problems in the bud.
If you Google ‘dyslexia symptoms’ you will receive a couple of million results. Many pages give you detailed lists of signs and symptoms to watch for.
Some lists likely include ‘mirror writing’ (writing backwards) and ‘b/d confusion’.
Sigh.
So what is a parent to do?
Speaking as someone who has worked hard to over come a couple of learning disabilities, has worked with kids from a whole range of backgrounds and abilities and is a Mum. Here are my thoughts:
- Learning disabilities come in all different flavours: Under the umbrella term of Dyslexia alone there are three different disabilities – Dyslexia, Dysgraphia & Dyscalculia. The symptoms are all different and on top of that every child is unique so no two Dyslexic children will have exactly the same list of challenges.
- It’s likely just another phase: There is a difference between a child struggling with something as they go through a ‘phase’ and when it becomes more than that. The difference between a child with dyslexia struggling with ‘b/d’ confusion is that they often will have no concept of the difference between the two letters. Every time they see a b or d it will be like the first time, and this will likely go on for months or years without proper help.
- Learning Disabilities are complex: Kids with learning disabilities don’t just have one challenge. As a parent you will notice time and time again that they are struggling with certain (often quite specific) things.
Your job as a parent is to notice patterns. If it is just a one off thing, then it is not a learning disability. It’s just something that your child finds hard. That’s important to know and you need to help your child through that, but it is also completely normal.
If you think that there are a number of issues, keep a diary of what your child is struggling with and note how long it takes before your child moves on. Writing it down will allow you to see the whole pattern. Which is important information for diagnosis as learning challenges are typically isolated to an area in the brain.
If you think that your child needs extra help. You need to be the person to join the dots between all the little ‘things’ that your child struggles with and present that to your GP or child’s teacher. Share all the information you have, whether it is in a diary format or just verbal. Advocate for your child and ask for an educational assessment. If you can afford to, pay for a private assessment. If your child is diagnosed there may be funding for your child’s treatment and we know that the sooner we can help a child the better.
If your gut tells you that your child needs help, do not let any one tell you to ‘wait and see if s/he grows through it.’ Children typically do not ‘grow through’ learning challenges. They fall behind, the catch-up becomes harder and the emotional toll is large. If someone is telling you to ‘watch and wait’ it is typically because there is no funding for help. Find out if that is the case and look for other options for assistance.
So feel free to search online and look for all the signs and symptoms of specific learning disabilities. But remember, that one symptom is just that. One symptom. Learning disabilities are complex, children with learning disabilities will struggle in a number of areas, and often with more than one specific disability. At the end of the day the best person to diagnose is someone who has detailed knowledge of the whole gamut of learning disabilities like an Educational Psychologist or Speech Language Pathologist.
Until, that point. My advice is to observe and support your child emotionally and practically as he or she learns and grows. Whether your child has a learning disability or not there will be good days and tough days in your child’s life, what makes the difference is having a parent stand by you every step of the way.