It’s 2015 and I’m taking a new class. It feels great to dust off the cobwebs in my brain and reconnect myself with some of the neurophysiology that I learned years ago in school.
Part of the course load is a fair bit of designated readings which, technically should be a chore but the reality is that it’s an absolute pleasure as the information is fascinating.
As I go through the information, there is one theme that keeps emerging, and that is how important it is to get help early for your child if you think he or she is struggling in school.
In my experience many people shy away from getting help for one or more of the following reasons:
- They think that the problem will go away. Either because the child will mature and ‘it will work it’s self out.’ or just because the child may be slow catching on to a topic but then will ‘get it’.
- They don’t know exactly what help looks like, and they are busy, so default to the ‘wait and see’ philosophy.
- Money is tight, so people feel that they can’t afford tutoring.
- Because of a fear that there might be something ‘wrong’ intellectually with the child.
I find, that typically we do a lot of reasoning in our nearly subconscious. When we hold up our reasoning to the bright light of day with all the facts to hand we realise that it’s not the compelling argument we thought it was. Let’s take a look at these arguments.
Problem will go away:
This is the default argument, and I hear it from both teachers and parents. Typically it is actually hiding the real argument which is often about money or funding. The thing is that problems don’t typically ‘go away’. You have to remember that most school systems are kind of like a conveyor belt. As children move on the conveyor belt information is fed to them. If they miss a piece of education the conveyor belt doesn’t stop, it just keeps going with more information being added regardless of the holes underneath.
Let’s assume that a child was too young to appreciate a certain concept and that they did mature or that they were slower to assimilate some information. If they were able to go back and cover that topic at a later time they may be able to catch up, but remember that the rest of the class did not stop. There are learning deliverables for the class to reach and so the conveyor belt continues. The next time that child encounters the concept, it is likely that they will be expected to know it and it will be built upon.
As a parent you need to raise your hand and flag the issue when it happens. Teachers try to do this but sometimes things get missed. Most teachers will do their absolute best to provide in classroom extra support and get your kid up to speed. If the teacher can’t, you should give it a go, and that may be all it takes. No extra money, assessments or time required. It’s an inconsequential thing at the time but so are the rocks that start avalanches.
The easiest way to make the problem ‘go away’ is to deal with it at the time.
Don’t know where to start:
Many parents just don’t know what help is available. Either because they are new to the country or because they were straight A students themselves and never encountered issues. The first place to go is to the teacher. You are in a partnership with your child’s teacher, the more you talk the better that partnership will be. It’s highly possible that all the help your child needs is available within the school for free. Until you ask for help, you won’t be able to access it.
Money is tight:
Money is tight in both homes and in schools. Until you start asking questions you won’t know what kind of money is required. In many cases a little extra help is all that is needed. In some cases your teacher may suspect a language difference like Dyslexia and recommend an education assessment. In BC where I live it costs $2,000 for a private education assessment for a child. There is funding for assessments. There is currently a 4 year waiting list for a funded assessment.
I’m not saying that the path is easy, but I would argue that the path of watching a child struggle and potentially fail in school is a much harder one. Sure, some people rebound from the adversity of failing in school and come out successfully, but it’s a tough road to carve. 90% of all jobs are not available to people without a grade 12 education and 75% of all crimes are committed to people without a high school education. (Education Week, 2014)
So you need to be creative. Your first stop is through the school, if the school can’t help they may be able to connect you with a not-for-profit that can. I’ve seen homework clubs and free tutoring services locally in Vancouver. If you have a teen, you can also try peer tutoring. Some schools may even give extra credit to a child who provides free peer tutoring to a classmate.
If your child is struggling to learn to read try a Notch Hill Program. We designed them to be an affordable bridge between classroom resources and tutoring. Unlike many free tutoring services you are following a curriculum designed by an expert with years of working with struggling children. The fun games sit on a very specific structure which goes through skill building in the common areas children struggle. One GamePak will cost you the same as one or two tutoring sessions. If you try it and it doesn’t work for you please contact us. We’ll refund you your money and give you some advice on where to go for help next.
Money is always a challenge, but as the famous entrepreneur Robert Kiyosaki says. “Instead of focusing on IF you can afford something focus instead on HOW you can afford it.” Your child’s happiness and future is well with the effort.
Fear of a diagnosis:
Some people fear a diagnosis because they fear stigma.
Some fear a diagnosis because they fear that it will reflect badly on the family.
Some fear a diagnosis because they don’t know how it will change things.
Some fear a diagnosis because they fear that they have passed something on to their child.
The fear of a diagnosis is far worse than actually receiving a diagnosis. Why? Because on receiving a diagnosis you are usually given a plan of action too. Plans of action can be worked with and are positive things. Fear is not.
The same goes with stigmas. The fear of a stigma is far worse than the condition. In this day and age, there are very few stigmas that aren’t talked about. My guess is that with a diagnosis you will find community instead of isolation.
If you suspect a learning disability like Dyslexia, you are going to need very structured assistance. Speak to the teacher, find out what the cost and wait is for an assessment in your area. Again, give Notch Hill a try, our multi sensory approach works well with the Dyslexic brain. (The program was actually designed by two Dyslexics!)
If you need an assessment and the waiting list for one in your area is longer than 6 months, move heaven and earth to find a way to get that money. Yes, it’s a lot of money but you will be eligible for assistance with that report and the longer you wait, the longer your child is on that conveyor belt, the harder it is to catch up and the social and emotional toll becomes harder and harder to repair.
Erik Erikson, the American developmental Psychologist said that a child is forming his sense of identity in the first few years of school – between 6 and 10 years. If he succeeds he will have a positive self image. If he fails he will form a negative self image and after 10 years old it is extremely hard to change that. According to Psychiatrist Dr. Kevin Solomons, a negative self image increases the risk of self-disruptive behaviours, tolerating abuse and numbing behaviours like turning to drugs & alcohol. So you can see, time is definitely off the essence.
If you have a child in the school system anywhere from Albuquerque to Zheleznodorozhny and you think your child is struggling. Please, don’t brush it under the carpet. The quickest and easiest way to ‘make it go away’ is to deal with it. By asking questions, talking to your child’s teacher and coming up with a plan for your child you are showing your child that success isn’t about being naturally gifted. Success is about hard work, and stick-to-it-ness. Now that is an important lesson in life.